I Need Your Love ~ première partie ~

I never interested in relationship at all. What’s the point? I only see it as pain, hurt and unnecessary drama. Well, I am a Goth. But, the way I say it looks like I am an Emo.

Okay, I need to start over again…

This is not good for my writing task.

But, first things first, let me introduce myself.

Ah, where’s my manner. It’s kind of rude isn't for not introducing yourself?

Ahem.

My name is Cassandra Goth.

As you can see I am a Goth. Goth is some kind of weirdo (hahaha, I hope Dad won’t be mad) ahem… an aristocrat family that exists in Simverse. It’s our family tradition to wear black (well, I love black. I’d love to have Sebastian as my butler, hohoho) and being angst (I love tragic story).

I still wonder why.

Four words that could describe me: I am a weirdo, hopeless romantic, bookworm and sarcastic. So, pleased to meet you. If you dislike me, well that’s your problem. My life is not for pleasing everyone. That’s a valuable lesson that I learned from my Dad.

Thanks to Dad, because of him I became Gloomy as he is. Well, I am Daddy little girl after all and I really love him! I got creative side from him as well; he’s so expressive especially when I tease him, his face is priceless and he always speechless when he dealt with me.

There comes a time when I asked him about WooHoo then his face just turning red like a tomato and he’s making many excuses after that. And then, there’s a time I asked him about Nooboo as well and he just panicked like it’s the end of the world. Hahaha!

Oh, Dad! Everyone already knows about that, that’s why sex-ed given in our curriculum.

Well, how’s about Mom and Alex? They seem to having fun together without me. Huh. For me Dad is solely my inspiration, so hush for Mom and Alex.

Oh, no!

That’s not angst!

I must try again. But, that’s unnecessary, I just want to write as who I am, so start over just will waste my precious time. There are several books that I must to read.

Arrrgh!

Why school assignments must be so tough and complicated! I barely have time to hanging out with my girl friends! You know, it’s about party, sleepover, hang out and such! It seems that I just wasted my youth!

You know, Dad is a Writer and he’s quite famous with his work. Most of his works based on his dearest friends. Aww, that’s so sweet of him, heheheh. So, I would like to make a fan fiction of him x Uncle Malcolm. I think that’d be hit among Fujoshis hahaha.

Well, I want to have my own BFF too someday.

Too bad that he’s died in an incredulous accident! (Oooh, that’s so mysterious)

I just want to meet him so badly, so I could ask him everything about Dad and don’t forget to having a selfie! He’s a living hi… err historical figure, somehow. I just remember that he’s already died.

Well, talking about selfie, there’s one boy in my class who love to take selfie. His name is Malcolm Landgraab, his name similar to Dad dearest friend. He’s claimed himself as an Evil Overlord, but his eyes are not showing that, it’s kind of solitude.

Oooh…

I believe he just pretends to be Evil. He always seen to be alone and never blend with other kids. He’s infamous and he always acts hoity-toity; no wonder that everyone despise him a lot but…

It’s odd when I saw him someday, he’s helping bullied kids.

Oh, I just happen to saw that scene. He acts like he’s their knight in shining armor, rush into the inevitable; he’s come out with pre-emptive strike, he finished them off without any violence and bloodshed.

After the battle ends, he doing some victory poses which is several selfies, he calculates gained experience points and collects the loots; then he hugs every child and said:

“Don’t you worry, child. You’ll be alright; I’ll protect you no matter what. Just call on my name and you know whenever I am, I’ll come running to see you again. Heavens got plan for you.”

…then, whoosh! He just vanished into a thin air. Like a Ninja!

And that’s when I have a change heart for him. He’s not as Evil as he said.

Awww, that’s so sweet and kewl!

My affections meter toward him max-ed out all of the sudden.

Eeek!

My kind of guy! A nice guy in bad guy disguise, just like superheroes!

I don’t know why.

Why I can’t take my eyes from him!

My heart!

Oh!

My heart’s pounding so fast!

Whyyyyyy…

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, Mommy.

Oh, Alex.

I think I've fallen in love!

I just fell in love a second ago after that scene, my heart melts.

So, I believe that he’s the one. I just need to give a try.

 “Sorry, but I’m not interested.”

That’s what he said. But, I won’t give up! Just like one Jason Mraz songs!

 “Sorry, love is not my thing.”

Arrrggh! What I can do to make you love me?

“You just waste your precious time.”

Okay, enough! I’ll find out if he’s seeing someone.

He’s single…

…don’t say if he’s not interested in GIRLS!

***

Aaahh, why every handsome men in the world always go into other way or already taken! Aaaahhh! Life is not fair! The world’s gonna end soon if there’s no one who love me!

Goth’s lineage surely will end…

Oh, I remember that I am not an heiress. There’s Alex though. So, I don’t care.

But, I will die old alone with a miserable life without anyone who loves me!

I might be eaten alive by a Cow Plant! Arrghh!

Okay. I just need to make myself masculine enough so he’d love me.

Makeover time! How do I look? I do look like a boy, right?

Now, let’s do this!

It’s now or never!

“Hi, bro!”

“Huh. Who’re you?”

“Bonjour! I am Cassand… Err… Casanova, I am from Italy and I have feeling for you.” *wink wink*

“…my deepest apologies, Monsieur. But, I’m not interested in guys.”

Arrrrggghhhh…

Dear Creator! What I should do?

I WANT HIM SO BADLY.

It’s strange; I never fall in love with guys before. I thought all the guys are kind of meanie, bully and totally a jerk. They love to make fun us, girls. They also think that they’re better than us, because simply they’re just boys, they said.

I thought my future is the first priority. So, I study better to show that us girls are kinda cool too, we’re can be as better as boys, and we’re pretty fun to hanging out if they wanted us to, but when I face something called LOVE, I am so hopeless here, I can’t focus.

Every time, every moment, there are you inside my head. With such a mischievous smile but deep down inside I know that you’re not showing your true self to the world. I wish that you just disappear; I wish that I never meet you in the first place, you just torment me. You ruined my life.

Now, my school life would suffer just like Nobita Nobi. Oh, dear what I should do, I don’t want to cheat but I must to keep up my grades or my parents would be ashamed to acknowledge me as their child, the worst case, they might be disown me. But, nah they wouldn't never do that to me anyway.

I know some children who have parents like that. Keeping up the appearance all along, isn't that tiring? Didn't they know that they hurt their children simply by just comparing them to another?

Didn’t they know that children life not as beautiful and care-free as they see? Bullying is everywhere and yet no one believes them because they thought that child’s life just for study and play.

What should I do to make you love me?

Mom come over to my room, she smiled at me.

What? Do you think my situation is funny, Mom?

She holds me close and hugs me. She knew what’s wrong with me even I’m not telling her. She told me that’s because she’s my Mom.

I feel sorry.

I know that her life is like perfect, just like in a fairy tale, I couldn't match her. Dad always loved her, I kind of hate that, and I envy her. She’s not only beautiful in her age and she had a beautiful heart.

I lack the qualities that Mom had. I just NOTHING compares to her.

Mom name meaning is Beautiful and I am just a Prophetess. What’s the point? I admit that I am not religious and not into those stuffs. Sorry, Creator.

I want to be beautiful like Mom too.

So there will be someone who loves me as who I am. Not loves me just for what I had. I know Goth is rich, we could afford a luxury for several generations, but if that what men seek in me. That’s not Love, that’s just Lust and Greed.

I wish that I could find someone like my Dad. I’d like to marry someone who has qualities as Dad. I think that’s every little girl dream. Well, keep dreaming Cassandra and “Just Believe” like Naruto said. There’s one song that say “All I have to do is dream”. So, I’ll hit the sack to meet my prince charming, then.

Then one day. I try my luck again.

“Sorry, I have someone waiting for me. We’re promised to meet again when we are both reach the top. Well, you’re an aristocrat, just like me. I believe that your parents already set up engagement for you. No need to worry, your future is safe and you’ll not die alone in such a misery. So, just hold your breath young lady. I bet there’s someone who truly loved and care about you, au revoir!”

That’s what he said.

AAAAAAHHH…

- To be continued to deuxième partie -

Ari’s Ramblin’

I never thought that her story would be fun like this. Go figure out what kind of storyline that would be unfold with the rest of family if they had her involved. Well, at least I’m had a blast and do something that I loved, that what matters the most lol.